Becoming a new parent has more than its fair share of challenges: the sleepless nights, the worry over the health and safety of your newborn, the constant crying, the poopy diapers, the SERIOUSLY WILL THIS BABY NEVER LET ME SLEEPless nights, etc. But all of those things pale in significance compared to the challenge faced by Heather and Toby Large of Pingree Grove, Illinois, who saw THIS in their 20-week ultrasound:
Image via Blastr
It’s not every day you find yourself carrying the reincarnation of the Dark Lord of the Sith, so we thought we’d put together a helpful list of what the happy couple should (and shouldn’t) expect from their bouncing baby boy of Evil. Pay attention to these simple dos and donts and your journey to the Dark Side of pregnancy will be complete.
DO expect to face some challenges along the way. Pregnancy isn’t easy. There’s the nausea, the swollen feet and the crazy food cravings to name just a few. But when you have a Sith Lord in your uterus, you should possibly also be prepared for surprise attacks from Jedi hoping to stave off the next Order 66.
DON’T take it for granted. With having to avoid alcohol and certain foods, being kicked, punched and Force pushed by a tiny human inside you, as well as just plain being tired more frequently, being pregnant can feel like a burden sometimes. So try your best to remember it’s a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Not everybody gets to say they’ve given birth to a superpowered evil wizard genius!
DO take good care of yourself. This means trying to exercise daily as best you can, eating the right foods and getting lots of relaxation time with your feet up. This will help ensure you and the baby are happy and healthy from day one. After all, the little guy isn’t going to grow up to take over the galaxy without a helping hand from mum and dad!
DON’T think you have to do this on your own. Pregnancy can be tough but that’s why you can’t forget that you have friends and family around you to lean on for love and support during the hard times. Unless your faith in your friends is your weakness. Or your friends aren’t going to be supportive of your religious and personal freedoms in choosing to raise the baby as a Sith.
DO expect to laugh. Maniacally. A LOT. Parenting has its share of lows, but particularly as your baby grows into a little person and begins to walk and talk and fire Force lightning at the cat, you’ll find he’ll become a constant source of amusement. And diabolical evil.
DON’T worry if your child isn’t hitting developmental milestones at the “normal” time. All babies are different and develop at different rates. Your little guy will be building Death Stars and plotting the overthrow of Galactic Republics through complex schemes involving intragalactic trade and taxation laws in no time!
DO expect plenty of changes! During the first few years of his life, your baby will change A LOT. He’ll go from being a completely helpless, tiny, innocent babe in swaddling to a walking, talking, rambunctious toddler, to a hideously ugly malevolent Force-wielding dictator in a matter of years. Literally! Super fast growth is one of the MANY perks of having a baby who’s a little on the Dark Side.
DON’T sweat the small stuff. You’re not going to get everything right. You aren’t perfect. In fact, there’s no such thing as a “perfect parent”. Sure, sometimes the hate will flow through you but it’s important to remember that THAT’S OKAY. Just do the best you can everyday and you’ll see your child will grow into the kind of evil planet-destroying Sith Lord you can be proud of.
Good luck, and may the Face of Palpatine be with you!
